How Much Is That Kitten In The Window?

Gavin and I adopted a kitten last Saturday. My cat Pepper has been lonely, which equals overeating and hanging all over me. Neither is good for either of us, so I decided that he needed a companion. We went to the Washington Area Animal Rescue League where a friend of ours works. It's a private shelter that not only receives animals, but goes to other locations across the country to rescue animals that may otherwise not have a chance. It's a great organization. They have a rigorous adoption process that I was happy to comply with.
We visited the shelter over two weekends to evaluate the animals that were available. Gavin took to Flannel immediately, but Mr. Nicholas Flann-el had a cold the first weekend fortunately, it cleared up by the time we visited the next Saturday. Flannel was friendly, not afraid of other cats, didn't mind being cuddled or danced with and didn't mind having his feet touched. This last was very important, as I was not planning to declaw him and would manually trim his nails as I do Pepper's.
We filled out the adoption paperwork and after a phone interview and home visit, we were able to bring Flannel home.

When he came home, Pepper ran and hid. Flannel was persistent.

Flannel claims the chair as his own...

Pepper remained unhappy and was quite rude to Flannel for a day and a half.

See how pale his nose is? That means that he's upset. Now they are the best of friends and tear around the house after each other. There's always cushions missing from the couch when I get home; they scatter them everywhere.

Bienvenidos A Miami

Gavin and I traveled to Miami and Key West during the first part of July. This was his first vacation that wasn't subsidized by work in years, and definitely the first purely vacation trip that he's taken with a female companion.
He was so nervous about the expense of the trip. We had more heated discussions over this trip than we have over any other we've taken, and we take a major trip about every six months, so I was completely mystified as to why there was so much heartburn associated with this one. I had a feeling that once we were underway, we would end up having a fabulous time. I was right.
Our first night in Miami, we ended up at a very cute, extremely good little French bistro. The vibe was very Bohemian as we sat out in the warm night air listening to a young man singing in French while playing his guitar. The simple salad Nicoise that I ordered was excellent, and just what I needed after an unremarkable airport lunch. Gavin's charcuterie platter was also excellent with a good assortment of cured meats and a nice country pate. The next morning, I decided to take advantage of our balcony for a little sunbath.

Since we were going to be in Miami for the Fourth of July, we booked a hotel with what we hoped to be a great view of the fireworks. Boy, did we ever get it! Our room overlooked Biscayne Bay, giving us a 180° view of the greater Miami area. We were able to watch about 5 simultaneous fireworks displays.

For the rest of our time in Miami, we stuck mostly to Cuban food. We discovered that the best mojito is served at Versailles on Calle Ocho, cafe con leche is addictive and fried yucca with garlic aioli is too sublime.Gavin took my picture while we were waiting for our food. He says that he was NOT trying to aim down my blouse, but I don't believe him.

While we were in Miami, we toured museums and gardens. The most outrageous garden we visited was Vizcaya Museum and Gardens. The guy who built it made his fortune from farm machinery as the founder of International Harvester. This is what happens when Midwesterners have more money than sense.

While we were strolling the gardens, I heard a rustling in the ferns. I thought it was rats until this little guy popped out. What a cutie!

We also toured the Art Deco District, which is in South Beach. It was crazy hot the entire time we were there. To me, it always seems a lot hotter when you have a big sign pointing out the temperature.

A lot of the art deco buildings are monochromatic. Colorful, but just one color. Here's one of my favorites that had a little more character.

We never did go out dancing. I talked to my Salsa instructor before we left, and he admonished me not to go to any Salsa clubs. He was afraid that because I only had a few hours of instruction from him, I would learn bad habits. He is serious about Salsa! After three days in Miami, we headed out to Key West. I thought I would like Miami more, boy was I wrong. Key West is awesome. There are cats and chickens everywhere!


The best part of being on vacation is drinking before lunch. Here we are in the Green Parrot cooling off after a morning of touring the Hemmingway home and the Key West lighthouse.

On Thursday, the warning of hurricane Dennis came, and all visitors were notified to evacuate the island. We decided to stay since we were leaving on Friday anyway, and we watched as Key West battened down the hatches. Plywood was going up everywhere and there were long lines at every gas station.
Because of the hurricane, the horizon was very cloudy on every night we were there. We did manage to see some pretty sunsets despite the clouds, or perhaps because of them.

Our best meal on the island was at Blue Heaven. The cafe has dirt floors and cats and chickens running around everywhere, but the food was awesome! Gavin enjoyed his pina colada.

The next morning we were up early and on the road. As we were driving, the first storms from the hurricane began to hit the island. It was only mostly scary.

Once we were back in Miami, we visited the Rubell Family Collection. This was one of the funnier pieces. Their collection is very odd, but definitely worth seeing.

Sometimes Apart Is Good

Gavin travels a lot for work; about 3 weeks out of every month. I like the space it gives us. I have a tendency to overdo it on things I really like. As an extra bonus, we get to subsidize our vacations through his work. We visit New Orleans every year, we've been to San Francisco and later this year, we'll probably be able to visit the Hawaiian Islands. Here's a picture of us in Ft. Morgan, AL on our first New Orleans trip:

I think he's sweet on me.

He's away right now, and I miss him. Most of his travel this year has been to the West Coast, making it difficult for us to touch base during the week.

He's promised to help me practice my Zydeco dance steps this weekend. I'm just learning, and I'm finding that I need to practice the timing on my turns. He's not much for dancing, but he's a good sport about practicing with me in the privacy of our respective living rooms. I'm going to tear up the dance floor the next time we're in the Big Easy!

Soon, I'll start salsa dancing. I'll have two salsa classes under my belt before we go to Miami. I'm pretty sure he won't practice that with me; there are too many moving parts in salsa. He knows that I want to spend at least one night out dancing, so he'll be my mojito monitor at the club.

My new favorite sweet treat: Total 0% Greek yogurt with a touch of tupelo honey. So GOOD!

Weekend Update

What a great weekend! Friday night was very low key with me just whipping up some tomato basil pasta sauce for the two of us.


Exercise and haircut Saturday morning. I have naturally wavy hair, and a lot of it. I like the way it looks long, but it weighs so much that if I let it go too long without professional attention, I get triangle head like Roseanne Rosanna Danna. My hairdresser Boy took about 2 inches off while I looked at his wedding photos. He and his boyfriend got married in Vermont this May. The tulips at the inn where they were married were so tall, both of them looked like little kids when the stood in front of the flower beds! Saturday night, we were in Baltimore to see Brian Regan at the Improv. He KILLED. He's always so funny, and he doesn't work blue, like some comedians where every other word is "F". Not that I have anything against saying "F", but I think that someone who expresses themselves for a living should put a little more work into their performance. It's like instead of saying "um" or "er" they use a curse word. Anyway Lisa (my best friend), her husband Brian, Gavin and I were completely howling with laughter. I've loved Brian Regan for years, and always see him when he's in town.


After the show, we all went to Pazo, a new small plates restaurant in an old warehouse space. It's gorgeous inside; and the patrons were uber-trendy. Sex and the City meets Charm City, hon. The food was excellent, and the Spanish red we chose complimented everything perfectly.

Sunday, we were lazy, taking our time waking up and getting ready. We went to Glen Echo to ride the restored carousel. You can find out more about it here: http://www.glenechopark.org I wanted to ride the rabbit, but there was already a baby on one, and we wanted to ride together, so I chose a palomino, and Gavin got to ride the donkey, which I thought was funny. I kept saying, "Nice ass" and we would both crack up. The ride was only .75 each! Can you believe it?

We went into Chevy Chase to do some shopping where I picked up a guide book for Miami and Key West and the new Cheap Eats issue of the Washingtonian. We are cheap eaters, and knew a lot of the places listed, and found out about some new places to try. Then we stopped in to one of our favorite cheap eateries, Urban Bar-B-Cue for some take away. They have a concoction there called Urban Delight which we decided to try. It's Fritos with barbecue beans, smoked brisket and smoked sausage slices. The guy taking our order asked if we wanted cheese on top. Well, duh! When we finally got home and dug in, we knew we were in trouble. That Urban Delight is so good, I think it could make peace among warring nations. With a masterful effort of will, we restrained ourselves from devouring the whole serving, and concentrated on the platters that we had brought home. Collard greens (I add Tobasco), corn bread, smoked brisket, pulled chicken and macaroni and cheese. All for less than $30. Dee-lish!

We stayed up late to try to catch Aqua Teen Hunger Force on Adult Swim http://www.adultswim.com/shows/index.html, but it was just an extra episode of "Tom Goes to the Mayor" which neither of us gets. Nuts to that! It was after midnight and bedtime for us.

Infant Avalanche

Baby fever seems to be erupting all around me. One of my best friends is pregnant with her first child, another friend of mine had her second son recently, ANOTHER friend of mine should be having HER first child any day now, even my Jazzercise instructor is pregnant. I'm the weirdo who doesn't pine for a baby. I don't dislike babies or children, but I don't go ape over them, either. Certainly not the way just a picture of a kitten can melt my heart immediately.
I have friends who say that they would like to adopt, that they want a child, but don't want to be pregnant. I think I would like to try for a child of my own. It's such an awesome responsibility. It's very daunting to think about. But I guess I do think about it since I'm writing it all down.
My good friend will find out whether she's having a boy or a girl at her next appointment. Babies everywhere.

Thar She Blows!

After my mom died in 2001, I gained a lot of weight; like 30 pounds. I'm tall, and it happened gradually, but one day I woke up and WHALE SIGHTING.

If you go to a person's house and they have no full length mirrors, you have a clue as to how they think about how they look full length. I was one of those people: just focus on the face. Bottom line; I felt unhappy and unattractive, so I made up my mind to change.

It took me a year, but between diet and exercise, I lost the weight and have kept it off for over two years. Why the 12 step style confession? I'm now working to firm up what I've worked so hard to reveal, in anticipation of a July vacation in Miami. I'm committed to 4 times a week at least and my plans are being stymied this week by the Force. Damn that noon showing at the Uptown. I'll have to give my Saturday class a complete miss. Crumbs! That Vader is a wily opponent.

Stumbling In...

Did you ever wonder what happened to an old flame? I always wonder, especially if I felt like I was a jerk to them, or that we were jerks to each other. My curiosity about a mutual jerk old flame lead me through the Internet eventually to this site.

Over a decade ago, I was involved with a man and his two young children. Neither he nor I were wise in the ways of effective relationships; I being too young and selfish, he being caught in the middle of trying to establish his own identity after the dissolution of his first marriage. We moved in together with out much consideration for the consequences, and spent the majority of our remaining time together repenting at leisure. Differences in financial management, childrearing and general household rules made for a tense and resentful environment. In the end,we made separate arrangements, and did not keep in touch.

Here's the kicker: I loved his kids AND I disagreed with the way both he and his former wife were raising them. They didn't work together on any decisions about the kids; both bright, talented, inquisitive children. Neither of them were responsible enough not to let the emotional impact of their marriage dissolving splash all over those very small, fragile personalities. The kids ping-ponged from a household with too many rules and restrictions (hers) to one with almost none (his).

How do you say to a kid: "I don't really like your parents, kid, but I sure do love you"? I couldn't think of a way and always regretted it. You can't really have a relationship with the kids if both parents would rather you didn't.

I learned a lot from that relationship. Those lessons have lead me to the relationship I have now with the love of my life. I understand now that you have to be on the same wavelength with a person about how you manage money, how you want to raise your kids and the state of your shared living space. You have to take your time getting to know someone, and more importantly, you have to know yourself.

So, I was always curious about what this old flame was up to, whether he learned any lessons, found success or happiness, hoping he found both. I found an art site that he was a member of, and found his blog, the blog of his current love interest and that of one of his kids. SHOCKEROONIE! The kids were in high school. HIGH SCHOOL! I didn't expect that. Why did I think that they would be the same elementary school aged children? I just didn't think.

Reading about the people that I was so connected to so many years ago feels strange. My initial impression was that the kids were very different than they used to be, but after I thought about it, they didn't seem so different after all. They boy still seems to meet everything with an ebullient optimism, even when he's struggling. The girl has a huge emotional hurt (that she's now able to articulate), that I remember being there, even when she was small. I felt so helpless to guide her then; I couldn't even help myself.

My old flame found his way into an unconventional romantic relationship, but it seems to work for him. I can imagine that the now ex would rather cut off and eat one of her own fingers than expose the kids to something so beyond the pale; she was always the biggest jerk in my relationship with her former husband. I'm glad that my old flame has met the woman he can love so totally and share her whole life.

I still miss those kids.