How Much Is That Condo In The Window?

I signed the papers on Friday and now my house is for sale. I know you faithful readers out there are such great fans of mine, that you'll be tripping over yourselves to grab a hold of a piece of RKD history. So: if you're in the market, or would like to imagine that you know me better by looking at each room in my apartment:

http://matrix.mris.com/Matrix/Public/Email.aspx?ID=19258581937

Already I'm tired of keeping it so clean, and it's only been two days. I think I am a professional mess.

Another Song Dedication to MYSELF

Queen's "I Wanna Break Free" is about ME! I am so dang sick of painting and taping and electrical things and making my house look boring as hell so that folks with a patented aversion to thinking outside of the box will want to make my home their own. All my nekkid lady pictures have to come down, my oil paintings of Turkey, my Chinese watercolors. FEH!

I'm signing papers putting my place on the market tomorrow. Then I'll start looking for an even bigger space. Of course you know that whatever I get next, I'll want to redo the kitchen. I always do.

Please, Lord, let me find some place with a washer/dryer IN the unit. In Baby Jesus' name, AMEN.

12 of 12 April 07

7:15 AM - Flannel takes his protective duties seriously. Even though the spy hole he chewed in the last set of blinds has been replaced by sturdy aluminum slats, he makes a habit of parking lot surveillance. Get him a trench coat and he could be McGruff, Jr. Except he's a cat.



7:37 AM - Not even the Lorax would speak for this tree in my parking lot. It needs an advocate, though, because the building has made the decision to take out all the trees in our parking lot. They're really not doing well.



10:47 AM- A morning snack while I read yesterday's Food section. They have a new editor for the Food section and he seems to be taking the "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" approach to food journalism. Reduce wine coverage while increasing beer coverage. Man-catcher brownie recipes and "Bistro dining comes to DC!" features. Bo-ring!



12:22 AM - I'm in the middle of constructing a timeline for a follow up memo I have to write to a vendor. Sounds like the WaPo Food section (boring), but I have fun with it.



3:22 PM - On the phone with GMiller. Our first 12 of 12 that we're in each other's photo line up, even if it is only telephonic.



3:44 PM- I'm leaving work now because after suffering with the flu for three days, I only have energy reserves for seven hours. The predicted rain showers are rolling in making the sky look really dramatic.



3:45 PM - I wonder why it smells so sweet in my car, then I realize that I took this bottle I got on the flight home from Savannah out of my purse and put it in the drinks holder in my car to remind me to bring it in the house and not drive or walk around with booze anymore. Savannah is in Georgia, not Maryland, Drunky!



3:58 PM- The rain hits while I'm driving by the Watergate. I wonder what happens now in the offices that Nixon had broken into.



4:26 PM- Ask not for whom the chipper chips, tree. It chips for THEE!



5:44 PM- Flannel completes his afternoon surveillance by monitoring my vital signs with his super sensitive Medi-paws. A tricorder has nothin' on this cat.



7:30 PM- Pepper comes to sound the Suppertime Claxon Horn of Lateness in my ear. I guess his staring and whimpering isn't getting the job done.



8:54 PM- I take my evening Tamiflu dose. It feels like it helped even if maybe it didn't.



BONUS PIC: Chad's random word generator came up with "office" for me. We are moving our OFFICE and here's a floorplan of our proposed OFFICE space in the new building.

If you are new to 12 of 12 - here are the basics:1) ALL PHOTOS MUST BE TAKEN ON THE 12TH OF EACH MONTH.2) After you post your pictures onto a webpage of your choice (Livejournal, typepad, MySpace, Flickr, etc...) please post the TIME, LOCATION, and A SMALL COMMENT in the pic.3) You own the rights to all of your pictures. The idea "12 of 12" is Chad Darnell's. While credit is not necessary, please don't credit someone else with the idea.4) The original concept was at least one body part in the picture. That idea was slowly faded away. The important part is that it is 12 pics.5) The monthly Bonus pic is a 13th picture and is optional.6) When referring to the project, please refer to it as "12 OF 12" - not "12 ON 12."7) Once completed, please e-mail or post the PERMALINK of the post AND the city and state or city and country of WHERE THE PICTURES WERE TAKEN. (If you are on vacation, it's where the pics were taken.)(The permalink is the link to the ENTRY of your page. If you just send me your website, I have to track it down. By listing the permalink, it helps for people to go back and view your previous 12 of 12 entries from previous months.)ANYONE is welcome to join in, even if you've never done it before! I hope you will.

Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive: My Trip to Savannah

I should really say OUR trip to Savannah, since there were two of us.

DAY 1: Our trip started with a trip out to Tybee Island. We had breakfast at the Breakfast Club and then went on to Ft. Screven, now the Tybee Museum. Inside the museum were all sorts of artifacts from life on Tybee, including some of the "best friends" of the Tybee Island children.



Woo, woo! I think that this arrangement is a little provocative, given the poor reputation that pirates have, but I didn't curate this exhibit. The other part of the excursion was the Tybee Island Lighthouse. It's pretty tall, and after my experience descending the Key West lighthouse (a fiasco complete with shaky crying due to my fear of heights), I decided to stay on the ground. GMiller vetoed my idea that he take a photo from the top looking down in which I would pose as if I fell from the balcony onto the lawn surrounding the lighthouse with twisted broken leg and shoes knocked from my feet by the impact. A missed opportunity for hilarity, if you ask me. While I was waiting, I tried to talk to an orange marmalade cat they had, until I saw the fleas literally SIZZLING off him. Yikes! No thanks Bubonic Plague cat, I think I'll sit over here. The lighthouse was very pretty.



We went to another fort that day, too. I think. Yes, we did because I had GMiller take a picture of me behind a stockade door making a frown face... because I'm in jail! Get it? When I get the picture from him, I'll post it. I also got kisses at this fort, which makes it doubly shameful that I don't remember the name. It might be Ft. Pulaski...



We drove back to Savannah and checked in to our hotel. I can't recommend it, so I won't post a link. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great, either. ANYWAY we took a nap then went to the Waterfront area for a late night supper. Though it was Wednesday, St. Patrick's Day revelers, street vendors and Savannah city workers were all gearing up for the celebration.

DAY 2: We drove to Charleston, SC where we brunched at Hominy Grill. Delicious! I got a big ol' pork chop covered with chow chow, greens, fried grits and sweet tea. GMiller got sweet tea, too.



The Grill is close to a Charleston hospital, and we were surrounded by doctors, nurses and administrators hence the greenies in the background. He had Low Country Purloo which is like a stew with chicken, rice and sausage.

Once we were through eating, we headed in to the city. Charleston is a beautiful city with lots of great spaces to walk around and enjoy the weather in. Can you imagine going to check out books from this place? I wish my library looked like this.



We also stumbled across one of the oldest Unitarian churches in the country. To get to it, you have to go down this garden path which opens up to a lushly overgrown graveyard. Through the trees hung with Spanish moss you see the church.



How incredible is that? We weren't able to go in, but we spent a lot of time exploring the graveyard.



This photo is a shout out to my best friend Lisa F. We both like the fantasy that one day, our cats will consent to get all dolled up and put on a show. You can keep your "crazy cat lady" comments to yourself, thanks. : )



We headed back to Savannah and had dinner again in the historic district.

OH, SNAP! I almost forgot to tell you about the biggest GYP in Charleston, this historic site that's trying really hard to be like Plymouth Plantation in Mass. It's not. GMiller sold me on the fact that they have a wild animal park of native SC species to include a lynx and a puma. Of course I said yes. So we get there and they're almost closed, but we get tickets anyway and head toward the animal park. Where are the animals? Asleep! Otters: asleep. Deer: asleep. Buffalo: asleep.



The cat exhibits were completely empty. The only thing we saw at the lynx cage was this crazy swarm of Fiddler crabs moving from the mud flats to the grass enclosure. The sound they made SKEEVED ME OUT! They were interesting, though, with their big fat claws. With the animal park behind us, I find a nice bench to sit on while GMiller tours the "town". Soon, like the animals, I was asleep. After having experienced the park, I can't blame them.

DAY 3: We decide to go to Bonaventure Cemetery in the morning. What a great place. It's very quiet, as you would expect from a graveyard. It's right by the water and has great views. This cemetery is famous for all it's grave marker statuary. This was one of my favorites.



We also saw Johnny Mercer's grave. There's no headstone, just big slabs, like Elvis has. Mr. Mercer is buried between his mother and his wife. Maybe that says something about his situation in life, but they were probably planted in order of death, not mental pathology. While we were driving through the Jewish part of Bonaventure, I saw this cute cat sitting on a gravestone among the azaleas. "Bye, bye Hebrew kitty!" I hollered as we drove away.



Today is also the day we stood in line for an hour to eat at Mrs. Wilkes' Dining Room. Man was it worth it! If you go to Savannah, eat here. The meal is served family style with about ten people at each table. The food is all set for you before you get to the table and each day has a standard menu of about 12 items plus daily specials of 3-4 additional items. The fried chicken was some of the best I've ever had and I spotted many dishes that were old favorites from Mama Anne's (my grandmother), table to include peas with noodles, white bread stuffing with egg and okra with tomatoes. We each felt like Mr. Creosote from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. We needed a bucket.

After lunch we went to the train museum and a maritime museum. The maritime museum was full of handmade scale models of all sorts of ships. Mostly they were named "Savannah" so of course they needed to be in the museum even if they had never sailed anywhere near Georgia. In the ladies' room someone thoughtfully posted this sign.



No one likes to be surprised by a rumbling toilet. Imagine the chagrin one would feel had there been no advance notice.

The train museum was really cool because they're restoring the train yard. The rail road was once a cornerstone of industry in Savannah and meant a lot to the people there. The rail yard has been preserved really well and they have lots of neat engines and cars on display. El Presidente gives a speech from one of the travelling office cars.



You can tell from the adulation he's receiving that he's wildly popular and there's now no need to enact the "I hate poor people" tax he was planning to levy because the large majority of polls showed low approval in the indigent demographic. : )

We spent the rest of the day wandering around Savannah's squares. Every square that had a fountain was squirting green water. It was a little disconcerting. A few park goers were complaining that the water was less green this year than last. It looked plenty green to me.



We took advantage of the "little traveler" opportunity Savannah affords to walk around with cocktails. If only cups of beer really grew on trees...



We ended the evening with a sunset view of the Mercer House where Jim Williams shot that boy to death. Now it's a museum, but we didn't go in. I'd want to see all Jim Williams' things and they've been sold.



The next day, St. Patrick's Day saw us homeward bound. After some shuffling due to bad weather in Pittsburgh, we ended up on the same flight home we'd been told was cancelled. It was a good trip and we had a great time together.

Grocery Store ZOMBIES!

People, this is a plea from an efficient shopper to the aisle cloggers, the diagonal cart-parkers, the aimless wanderers, the unattended children and the "visiting a grocery store as part of my 'off the beaten path' discovery walk" tourists. Move to the right or left of the aisle and STAY THERE! The center of the aisle is for moving traffic. Do your pondering over which can of freakin' stewed tomatoes you're going to buy in the breakdown lane and let traffic through.

George Romero could shoot a horror movie in the Alexandria Trader Joe's and not have to hire any actors. It's already full of the Living Dead. DANG!

I'd LIke To Send A Shout Out...

To my constant companion of the last three days; Cold With Sneezing, this one's for you:

You Go To My Head

You go to my head,
And you linger like a haunting refrain
And I find you spinning round in my brain
Like the bubbles in a glass of champagne.

You go to my head
Like a sip of sparkling burgundy brew
And I find the very mention of you
Like the kicker in a julep or two.

The thrill of the thought
That you might give a thought
To my plea casts a spell over me
Still I say to myself: get a hold of yourself
Can't you see that it can never be?

You go to my head
With smile that makes my temperature rise
Like a summer with a thousand Julys
You intoxicate my soul with your eyes
Tho I'm certain that this heart of mine
Hasn't a ghost of a chance in this crazy romance,
You go to my head.

12 of 12 March 2007

7:24 AM - That Billy Joel song Movin' Out is about me! I'm getting my place ready to sell, which includes replacing the beat-ass counter tops and repainting. Not everyone wants to spend every moment in the kitchen in a violent state of blue. I don't either, really. I thought that color would work better.


9:04 AM - I need to get organized. All that paper on my computer desk is starting to bug me.

12:20 PM - I go for a Diet Coke with lime as a dessert follow up to my spaghetti lunch. There isn't any, but our bucket runneth over with cheese! One of our senior managers loves a cheese sandwich more than anything, and we like to keep our folks happy. Welcome to American cheese heaven.

2:40 - My boss and I trade this folder back and forth. His desk is more cluttered than mine, so the mail slot is the safest route for delivery. I am delivering the mail and I am ONE woman. Take that, sign maker at my building! (See 12 of 12 Feb 07 for explanation)

3:15 PM - Nothing sets you up for a workout like a cup of joe and two After Eight mints. I'm sure that's how Olympic champion Carl Lewis trained. Note that my desk is a little less cluttered. I had a productive day.

4:17 PM - Changing in my office for my workout class. I've got to hurry if I'm going to make the 4:40 class.

4:35 PM - I got myself an iPod now I have tunes with me wherever I go. This also helps get me in the dance frame of mind for my workout. I need a multi socket adapter for my cigarette lighter. I gots too much stuff to plug in!

5:50 PM - It was a good class. The high energy teacher I like was there, but I was trapped in Old Lady Land in the corner, so I had to watch out for shuffling Grannies at every turn. That will teach me to show up late.

6:26 PM - There's nothing like canceling out your exercise effort with a trip to Chik-fil-A. I tell myself that by taking the top bun off the sandwich, it's not SO bad. Then I get sweet tea and waffle fries. Where's the carb savings? In my mind, where it's always spring and bunny rabbits hop everywhere.

7:55 PM - In Annapolis again. They still haven't improved the lighting situation here.

11:10 PM - Jawing away on the phone. The call came through on my cell, so even though I'm at home, I have to sit in the parking lot to finish the call, because I get zero cell reception in my apartment.

11:30 PM - Pepper runs as if I've come to the door to kill him. Flannel thinks he's a fool. You can see the disdain in the set of his ears. Don't look at the huge bag of shoes spilling on to the carpet. Nothing to see here, people!

Bonus Pic: Green - Super green! I guess it's homecoming season, and time for the retailers to start foisting teen dream visions of elegance on unsuspecting youth. This sea of acid green tulle and pink flowers reminds me of my birthday cake when I was two. That was some good frosting, y'all. I think these dresses look pretty much what I imagined a sophisticated woman would wear when I was 14. Thank God I grew out of that!

If you are new to 12 of 12 - here are the basics:1) ALL PHOTOS MUST BE TAKEN ON THE 12TH OF EACH MONTH.2) After you post your pictures onto a webpage of your choice (Livejournal, typepad, MySpace, Flickr, etc...) please post the TIME, LOCATION, and A SMALL COMMENT in the pic.3) You own the rights to all of your pictures. The idea "12 of 12" is Chad Darnell's. While credit is not necessary, please don't credit someone else with the idea.4) The original concept was at least one body part in the picture. That idea was slowly faded away. The important part is that it is 12 pics.5) The monthly Bonus pic is a 13th picture and is optional.6) When referring to the project, please refer to it as "12 OF 12" - not "12 ON 12."7) Once completed, please e-mail or post the PERMALINK of the post AND the city and state or city and country of WHERE THE PICTURES WERE TAKEN. (If you are on vacation, it's where the pics were taken.)(The permalink is the link to the ENTRY of your page. If you just send me your website, I have to track it down. By listing the permalink, it helps for people to go back and view your previous 12 of 12 entries from previous months.)ANYONE is welcome to join in, even if you've never done it before! I hope you will.

Postsecret Sympathy

I saw this on Postsecret today. I don't feel this way, but I know a couple of people who probably do, and it's probably a secret even from themselves. The post below it was an email message reading: "I'm afraid to get better because I don't know who I am beyond this." I'll bet that's true for the people I'm thinking of, too. I have friends who deal with various mental and physical ailments, as I do. Sometimes they combine to conspire against us, but I don't think any of us feel defined by those health issues. I feel bad for folks whose whole lives revolve around being a sick person. I'll bet that really stinks.

Why does this conversation sound so familiar?

Two New Yorkers geek about how advanced the dance programming should be in robots appearing in the near future. This exchange reminded me of the heated discussions I used to have with an ex over why Star Wars's C3PO was so physically stunted, but obviously had mad programming in the synapses department to have so many emotions while Star Trek's Data was fully articulated but no one bothered to build his brain big enough to experience emotion on a human level. Raise your hand if you really believe that the child Anniken Skywalker was a programming GENIUS... that's what I thought. Why was this even a topic of conversation? And DON'T get me started on the David character from AI: Artificial Intelligence versus Data, we'll be here all day!

Um, Shouldn't We Find Some Girls to Talk To?

Hipster #1 with thick-framed glasses: Yeah, he could do the robot [does crappy robot dance].
Hipster #2: You are so lame.
Hipster #1: No, it's funny.
Hipster #2: It's not realistic.
Hipster #1: It's supposed to be how a robot would dance. What's not realistic about it?
Hipster #2: Yeah, so a robot programmed well enough to have a dance function would do what you just did...
Hipster #1: Probably.
Hipster #2: If they were to program a robot human enough to have a dance function it would have to be incredibly advanced and I don't think an incredibly advanced life-like robot would be programed with such stiff moves. They would almost certainly give him at least slightly groovier moves.
Hipster #1: I think you're thinking of a super advanced robot. I mean, we're just talking about, like, a robot that appears in the next decade.

--Hipster dance bar

Overheard by: Brian D. Adams

via Overheard in New York, Mar 3, 2007

P.S. Don't send me nasty comments about Data's emotions being resident on a chip. Everyone knows that the reason he didn't use the chip was because it would melt his brain.

Put Up Yer Dukes!

Right now a friend of mine is dealing with a situation that resonates with me greatly. She can take care of herself, don't misunderstand. In this situation, though, she should have a champion. Someone that tells her that she is right, and acts to make things change. If it were my place, I would stand up for her and demand the rudiments of civility and respect on her behalf. My ears are back! Grrrrr.

Don't Try This At Home

My soaking licorice scottie dogs in bourbon was a gross failure, in both senses of the word. A large waste of my favorite brown spirits, and an unsavory result. I was hoping for an approximation of the Sazerac in cheerful puppy form, but the flavors didn't marry well. They were too distinct and sharp as opposed to the smooth blended notes of the cocktail.

I think I'll stick to gummy lifesavers in vodka. That's a time tested bowl of yum. Don't eat the whole bowl yourself, drunky!

12 of 12 February 07

7:44 AM- Winter precipitation sends everyone into a panicked tailspin where I live, which would make sense if we got a lot of it. We don't. My parking lot looks like a salt bomb hit it from the last little bit of snow we got. If I want to throw a Midwinter Margarita party, I've got the salt hook up!

8:06 AM - Taking a drive through Rock Creek Park instead of the main artery of the city always provides plenty to look at. It's not often cold enough for long enough to freeze the creek since the water moves pretty fast in places.

10:51 AM - Responding to emails and trying to keep my inbox from exceeding the limit. It's rarely the actual emails that trigger the shut down, rather the deleted and sent bins always get me in trouble with our email server.

11:51 AM - I recently acquired a scanner account, but I can't access any of the documents I just worked on. Help Desk Ticket, take me away! Don't you wish you could hit the "send problem" button in other parts of your life? I sure do.

12:29 PM - With my scanner account fixed, I can re scan the papers that I've already scanned twice. Implementing new processes is fun!

12:52 PM - On the phone with my Trade Show Coordinator. I swear that this phone conversation was not as serious as it looks. We crack each other up and have a good time on most calls, including this one.

6:50 PM - Did you like that big gap? I thought I was going to lunch with a friend today, but that didn't pan out. I was planning to take pictures of that. Now you get to see the traffic I had to sit in for an hour and a half getting to Annapolis tonight.

8:09 PM - I finally arrive in Annapolis. I wish there were more lights around this joint. It gets pretty dark.

9:38 PM - Because I was stuck in traffic, dinner wasn't an option. On my way home I dine on licorice and wonder briefly whether these candies would taste good soaked in rye. The liquor would make them soft and more chewy. It might taste like a Sazerac, my favorite cocktail, or it might taste like ass. Maybe I'll do a weekend experiment...

10:57 PM - Whoever wrote this sign in my lobby did not see Annie Get Your Gun. If they had, they would know "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better". It does not take two or more females to do the job of one male letter carrier.

11:04 PM - I got the Stuff On My Cat calendar for Christmas. I wish my cats were patient/stupid enough to wear hats. They want no truck with finery. I have to live vicariously through other more fashion forward felines.

11:12 PM - These books are getting on my nerves. I'm working up to getting boxes to put them in. I don't want to give them away, but I'm kind of sick of looking at them after, in some cases, three decades.

Bonus Picture: LOVE - You know it's the seventies when you're wearing olive green coveralls with a pink satin elephant applique on the bib. I love my mother. She was always the Valentine I could count on. BTW. That IS a bow taped to my head, people.

If you are new to 12 of 12 - here are the basics:
1) ALL PHOTOS MUST BE TAKEN ON THE 12TH OF EACH MONTH.
2) After you post your pictures onto a webpage of your choice (Livejournal, typepad, MySpace, Flickr, etc...) please post the TIME, LOCATION, and A SMALL COMMENT in the pic.
3) You own the rights to all of your pictures. The idea "12 of 12" is Chad Darnell's. While credit is not necessary, please don't credit someone else with the idea.
4) The original concept was at least one body part in the picture. That idea was slowly faded away. The important part is that it is 12 pics.
5) The monthly Bonus pic is a 13th picture and is optional.
6) When referring to the project, please refer to it as "12 OF 12" - not "12 ON 12."
7) Once completed, please e-mail or post the PERMALINK of the post AND the city and state or city and country of WHERE THE PICTURES WERE TAKEN. (If you are on vacation, it's where the pics were taken.)
(The permalink is the link to the ENTRY of your page. If you just send me your website, I have to track it down. By listing the permalink, it helps for people to go back and view your previous 12 of 12 entries from previous months.)
ANYONE is welcome to join in, even if you've never done it before! I hope you will.