For the past few months I've been going through the most wracking grief process I've ever experienced. In many ways it is worse than losing my mother. After years of therapy, I'm much more in tune with my emotions and how I react to situations. I also know that change is possible, as it applies to the person who desires to change, with determination and time. I've got plenty of determination, but no patience. I want to feel better NOW. I want to stop caring NOW. I want to stop hoping for a result that is pure fantasy NOW.
Trying to manage the combination of loss, betrayal, longing and love I feel every day is exhausting. What do you do when you want to hug and shake the crap out of someone in equal measure? I feel like shouting "Wake up, stupid!" in someone's ear. I should shout it in my own as well.
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1 comment:
Boy have I been in THIS place! All you do is keep going.
I'm not very patient either, but I have found my blog to be of immesurable help in sorting out my feelings and plain old fashioned venting.
Hang in there girl, you'll make it!
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