Grocery Store ZOMBIES!

People, this is a plea from an efficient shopper to the aisle cloggers, the diagonal cart-parkers, the aimless wanderers, the unattended children and the "visiting a grocery store as part of my 'off the beaten path' discovery walk" tourists. Move to the right or left of the aisle and STAY THERE! The center of the aisle is for moving traffic. Do your pondering over which can of freakin' stewed tomatoes you're going to buy in the breakdown lane and let traffic through.

George Romero could shoot a horror movie in the Alexandria Trader Joe's and not have to hire any actors. It's already full of the Living Dead. DANG!

I'd LIke To Send A Shout Out...

To my constant companion of the last three days; Cold With Sneezing, this one's for you:

You Go To My Head

You go to my head,
And you linger like a haunting refrain
And I find you spinning round in my brain
Like the bubbles in a glass of champagne.

You go to my head
Like a sip of sparkling burgundy brew
And I find the very mention of you
Like the kicker in a julep or two.

The thrill of the thought
That you might give a thought
To my plea casts a spell over me
Still I say to myself: get a hold of yourself
Can't you see that it can never be?

You go to my head
With smile that makes my temperature rise
Like a summer with a thousand Julys
You intoxicate my soul with your eyes
Tho I'm certain that this heart of mine
Hasn't a ghost of a chance in this crazy romance,
You go to my head.

12 of 12 March 2007

7:24 AM - That Billy Joel song Movin' Out is about me! I'm getting my place ready to sell, which includes replacing the beat-ass counter tops and repainting. Not everyone wants to spend every moment in the kitchen in a violent state of blue. I don't either, really. I thought that color would work better.


9:04 AM - I need to get organized. All that paper on my computer desk is starting to bug me.

12:20 PM - I go for a Diet Coke with lime as a dessert follow up to my spaghetti lunch. There isn't any, but our bucket runneth over with cheese! One of our senior managers loves a cheese sandwich more than anything, and we like to keep our folks happy. Welcome to American cheese heaven.

2:40 - My boss and I trade this folder back and forth. His desk is more cluttered than mine, so the mail slot is the safest route for delivery. I am delivering the mail and I am ONE woman. Take that, sign maker at my building! (See 12 of 12 Feb 07 for explanation)

3:15 PM - Nothing sets you up for a workout like a cup of joe and two After Eight mints. I'm sure that's how Olympic champion Carl Lewis trained. Note that my desk is a little less cluttered. I had a productive day.

4:17 PM - Changing in my office for my workout class. I've got to hurry if I'm going to make the 4:40 class.

4:35 PM - I got myself an iPod now I have tunes with me wherever I go. This also helps get me in the dance frame of mind for my workout. I need a multi socket adapter for my cigarette lighter. I gots too much stuff to plug in!

5:50 PM - It was a good class. The high energy teacher I like was there, but I was trapped in Old Lady Land in the corner, so I had to watch out for shuffling Grannies at every turn. That will teach me to show up late.

6:26 PM - There's nothing like canceling out your exercise effort with a trip to Chik-fil-A. I tell myself that by taking the top bun off the sandwich, it's not SO bad. Then I get sweet tea and waffle fries. Where's the carb savings? In my mind, where it's always spring and bunny rabbits hop everywhere.

7:55 PM - In Annapolis again. They still haven't improved the lighting situation here.

11:10 PM - Jawing away on the phone. The call came through on my cell, so even though I'm at home, I have to sit in the parking lot to finish the call, because I get zero cell reception in my apartment.

11:30 PM - Pepper runs as if I've come to the door to kill him. Flannel thinks he's a fool. You can see the disdain in the set of his ears. Don't look at the huge bag of shoes spilling on to the carpet. Nothing to see here, people!

Bonus Pic: Green - Super green! I guess it's homecoming season, and time for the retailers to start foisting teen dream visions of elegance on unsuspecting youth. This sea of acid green tulle and pink flowers reminds me of my birthday cake when I was two. That was some good frosting, y'all. I think these dresses look pretty much what I imagined a sophisticated woman would wear when I was 14. Thank God I grew out of that!

If you are new to 12 of 12 - here are the basics:1) ALL PHOTOS MUST BE TAKEN ON THE 12TH OF EACH MONTH.2) After you post your pictures onto a webpage of your choice (Livejournal, typepad, MySpace, Flickr, etc...) please post the TIME, LOCATION, and A SMALL COMMENT in the pic.3) You own the rights to all of your pictures. The idea "12 of 12" is Chad Darnell's. While credit is not necessary, please don't credit someone else with the idea.4) The original concept was at least one body part in the picture. That idea was slowly faded away. The important part is that it is 12 pics.5) The monthly Bonus pic is a 13th picture and is optional.6) When referring to the project, please refer to it as "12 OF 12" - not "12 ON 12."7) Once completed, please e-mail or post the PERMALINK of the post AND the city and state or city and country of WHERE THE PICTURES WERE TAKEN. (If you are on vacation, it's where the pics were taken.)(The permalink is the link to the ENTRY of your page. If you just send me your website, I have to track it down. By listing the permalink, it helps for people to go back and view your previous 12 of 12 entries from previous months.)ANYONE is welcome to join in, even if you've never done it before! I hope you will.

Postsecret Sympathy

I saw this on Postsecret today. I don't feel this way, but I know a couple of people who probably do, and it's probably a secret even from themselves. The post below it was an email message reading: "I'm afraid to get better because I don't know who I am beyond this." I'll bet that's true for the people I'm thinking of, too. I have friends who deal with various mental and physical ailments, as I do. Sometimes they combine to conspire against us, but I don't think any of us feel defined by those health issues. I feel bad for folks whose whole lives revolve around being a sick person. I'll bet that really stinks.

Why does this conversation sound so familiar?

Two New Yorkers geek about how advanced the dance programming should be in robots appearing in the near future. This exchange reminded me of the heated discussions I used to have with an ex over why Star Wars's C3PO was so physically stunted, but obviously had mad programming in the synapses department to have so many emotions while Star Trek's Data was fully articulated but no one bothered to build his brain big enough to experience emotion on a human level. Raise your hand if you really believe that the child Anniken Skywalker was a programming GENIUS... that's what I thought. Why was this even a topic of conversation? And DON'T get me started on the David character from AI: Artificial Intelligence versus Data, we'll be here all day!

Um, Shouldn't We Find Some Girls to Talk To?

Hipster #1 with thick-framed glasses: Yeah, he could do the robot [does crappy robot dance].
Hipster #2: You are so lame.
Hipster #1: No, it's funny.
Hipster #2: It's not realistic.
Hipster #1: It's supposed to be how a robot would dance. What's not realistic about it?
Hipster #2: Yeah, so a robot programmed well enough to have a dance function would do what you just did...
Hipster #1: Probably.
Hipster #2: If they were to program a robot human enough to have a dance function it would have to be incredibly advanced and I don't think an incredibly advanced life-like robot would be programed with such stiff moves. They would almost certainly give him at least slightly groovier moves.
Hipster #1: I think you're thinking of a super advanced robot. I mean, we're just talking about, like, a robot that appears in the next decade.

--Hipster dance bar

Overheard by: Brian D. Adams

via Overheard in New York, Mar 3, 2007

P.S. Don't send me nasty comments about Data's emotions being resident on a chip. Everyone knows that the reason he didn't use the chip was because it would melt his brain.